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Later Life Intimacy: Women’s Unruly Practices, Spaces and Representations

Periodic Reporting for period 2 - LiLI (Later Life Intimacy: Women’s Unruly Practices, Spaces and Representations)

Berichtszeitraum: 2021-11-01 bis 2023-04-30

Intimacy in later life is still a taboo. It is often ignored or assumed not to exist. And when attention is paid to the sexuality of older people, it is often from a medical point of view. This taboo affects all genders, but women are often judged more negatively than men, and earlier in life. It is also assumed that women lose their sexual interest earlier than men and that their perceived attractiveness is more affected by the fading of youthful appearance than that of men. Women's sexual desire is thought to disappear as they grow older, and the idea of older women and sex is often seen as inappropriate or is the subject of ridicule and jokes. There are more positive narratives that promote lifelong sexuality and attractiveness, but they are equally ageist because they still assume youthful standards. Narratives of successful ageing emphasise that women can (and should) remain sexually active and attractive in old age. However, in this narrative, sexuality is seen as both a consequence and a necessary condition for a healthy and energetic old age. The discourse of successful ageing, while creating acceptance for sexuality in later life, keeps sexuality reserved for those older people who keep themselves young and fit, relegating asexuality to the realm of pathology. Both the decline and successful ageing narratives reproduce ageist, stereotypical and harmful views of older women's intimacy and sexuality. We urgently need a different narrative.

The LiLI project aims to develop an affirmative story of intimacy and (a)sexuality based on the knowledge and lived experiences of older women themselves. We are particularly interested in the diverse experiences and ideas that have the potential to destabilise prevailing stereotypes. The 'unruly' experiences and insights of women who do not fit into the mainstream - due to aspects such as age, gender, sexuality, relationship style, ability, ethnicity, etc. - are crucial to the development of a critical and affirmative theory of older women's sexuality.

The main aims of the project:
(1) To develop a new methodological model that foregrounds older women's marginalised or non-normative sexual experiences as 'unruly' knowledge that will ultimately enable a reconstruction of theory
(2) Map the socio-cultural, spatial and ideological landscape that both constrains older women's sexuality and creates potential for overcoming sexist and ageist power structures.
(3) Promote understanding of older women's 'unruly' strategies in order to develop theory of sexuality and ageing that recognises both the material reality of ageing bodies and the dominant sexual norms and social power structures that shape older women's sexuality.
The research is based on three disciplines, namely anthropology, social geography, and cultural and media studies. In the final phase of the research, these three components are brought together in an integrated feminist philosophical analysis:
• The anthropological study focuses on intimate and sexual practises and collects stories from midlife and older women about the experience of their sexuality and intimate life. Previous ethnographic fieldwork included participant observation in 5 different settings, interviews with over 30 participants, workshops and analysis of self-help and autobiographical books, documentaries, news articles and life stories.
• The social geographical study explores how intimate experiences in later life are constrained, enabled and/or shaped by the way physical and digital space is organised. Ethnographic fieldwork was conducted in 3 different settings, including long-term participant observation and in-depth interviews.
• The culture and media study explores representations. We analyse various media and other cultural products that portray middle-aged and older women, but also examine how these products are created and how older women perceive them. An extensive corpus of 'unruly' media representations has been collected. Part of this archive is freely accessible on the LiLI project website and comprises more than 100 entries and is regularly updated with new material.

Some preliminary results:
• Older trans women and non-binary people transgress age and gender in significant ways when they date. Their practises and opinions defy normative notions of beauty and sexual attractiveness.
• In the media, older women are often portrayed as bitter, mean, complaining, grumpy and whiny. Through an analysis of various portrayals in films, TV series, cartoons, digital platforms, photographs and embroidery, we found that being grumpy is not necessarily something to be avoided at all costs, but can also be part of a strategy of resistance for older women.
• Menopause is generally viewed from a psycho-medical perspective. However, the transition to menopause can be a time when awareness of systems of oppression grows, provoking anger and resistance in women. Our archive of cultural products made by and for older women reveals an aesthetic of breakdown, creative anarchy and experimentation that offers new visions of age, sexuality and gender.
The novelty of the study lies primarily in its focus on the 'unruly' intimate practises, places and representations of women and non-binary persons in old age. Looking at older women's intimate lives from the perspective of unruliness significantly advances the field of research on sexuality in older age, as it allows for the imagining of alternatives to often degrading and oppressive notions. The concept of unruliness as a means of reconceptualising intimacy has been further clarified, defined and developed through research and conceptual work. Innovative theoretical interventions were made that will be further developed in the second term of the project.
Picture of the LiLI team members